

If we try to force ourselves to perform in the face of resistance, it usually intensifies the feeling, as we are strengthening the internal conflict and triggering the fear that’s holding us back in the first place. When we are experiencing resistance, there is always a reason, and we have to pay attention. Resistance is not the same thing as procrastination or indifference and shouldn’t be treated as such. In other cases, it can also be a warning sign that something isn’t quite right, and you might need to step back and regroup. Resistance is your way of slowing down and making sure that it’s safe to get attached to something new and important. It’s when we get an amazing idea for our business and then feel tension and anger when it comes time to sit down and actually get to work. It’s when we get into a great new relationship and then keep bailing on plans. Resistance is what happens when we have a new project that we need to work on and simply can’t bring ourselves to do it. Below, we’ll uncover some of the main signs that you’re probably in a cycle of self-sabotage. With that said, there are definitely some specific behaviors and patterns that are typically indicative of self-sabotage, and they usually relate to being aware that there’s a problem in your life, yet feeling the need to perpetuate it regardless. It’s impossible to say decisively what self-sabotage does or doesn’t look like, because certain habits and behaviors that can be healthy for one person can be unhealthy in another context.

It is no small task, and yet it is the work that all of us must do at one point or another. We must pinpoint the traumatic event, release unprocessed emotions, find healthier ways to meet our needs, reinvent our self-image, and develop principles such as emotional intelligence and resilience. To overcome this, we must go through a process of deep psychological excavation. In reality, self-sabotage is simply the presence of an unconscious need that is being fulfilled by the self-sabotaging behavior. It appears to be a product of self-hatred, low confidence, or a lack of willpower. On the surface, self-sabotage seems masochistic.

If there is an ongoing gap between where you are and where you want to be-and your efforts to close it are consistently met with your own resistance, pain, and discomfort-self-sabotage is almost always at work. There is nothing holding you back in life more than yourself.
